Friday, August 21, 2009

An Open Letter to Ted

Dear Mr. Baker,

Did you not get my memo about the budget crisis? No, not the California budget. I'm talking about the TC crisis - the one where I'm not supposed to spend money anymore? You see, I've got dreams and a future to save for. That is why you cannot open shop in Santa Monica next year. I know it's a whole year away, but by then I'll be broke. If you seriously go through with it, I will be forced to stand outside your windows to stalk you. You'll have to mop up the drool from the floor. No, don't bring your gorgeous prints and flattering cuts to my neighborhood. You know I love you, sweetheart, but I can't afford to live with you. Please don't get the wrong idea when I stalk your website, we need to remain internet buddies and nothing more beyond it.

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